Child Beauty Queen-a Warning

Saturday, August 9, 2014

I tried to bribe my daughter with a puppy

I tried to bribe my daughter with a puppy


 Let me add that she is 23 and lives 30 hours away in a places she loves and a job she loves.  I was bribing her to come back home to a town that has NO jobs or future possibilities.

I am horrible selfish mom.

I just miss her so much and it is 30 HOURS AWAY!

What it she gets married a has kids there?  My grandbabies will be 30 HOUR AWAY!

I don't want to be so selfish, but I can't help but think about an we are missing out on.

It never gets easy

Oh she said no to the puppy but she would really think about it if it was a new car.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Walk Away

Walk Away


The most important thing you can learn to do is walk away. Unfortunately, it also seems to be one of the hardest.
Walk away from your past.  You don't live their anymore. You can't change it, so forget it. You don't want to get stuck in the past and miss out on the present.

Walk away from people who don't belong in your life. Surround yourself with positive people. Don't allow drama or negativity in your life.
Walk away from sadness. Life is short. Enjoy everyday.
Happiness is a choice you make every day. Sometimes it mean you have to walk away
check out my other blog Letting God Drive

I dont watch the news

I don't watch the new anymore


 when I tell people this I get the strangest looks. How will I know what is going on in the world?  The truth is, I don't want to know.
Our county is going to hell in hand basket and there is nothing I can do to change it.  There is only on person that can save our county, and our government has banned Him.
We are at the mercy of that  government
I don't read the paper either

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Loss of control and anxiety

Loss of control and anxiety


One of the steps I am taking for myself is talking to a therapist.  I think a lot of my anxiety is bought on when I feel a loss of control.
When I am at home, I have control. When I go out of my home, I no longer can control what will happen.
Well this is just a thought that I would like to run by the therapist.
I used to have little faith in therapy. However, the place I am in now has changed my feelings. My med are not the issue.  I need to do the rest of the work myself. I am hoping the therapist can give me some tools to work with. I can do this. I feel happy

Friday, July 25, 2014

My funk

My funk


 I am sorry that I haven't written but I am In a funk. My depression and anxiety are rearing their ugly head. I am not sure why they popped in but I have been trying to get them to leave. If I write about them, maybe they will leave.
One thought on why they stopped by:  I am 44, I had  hysterectomy nine months ago and gained 50 lbs.  My kids are all gone and I don't know what I want to do with my life. So I lay in bed, watching TV, and waiting to die.  See, aren't you glad I haven't been writing?
Seriously, this a depressing time in life.  I also know If I could get out of my funk, this could be a really exciting time. Ugh!
What to do. What. to. do,
Im going to take a nap and think on it some more.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mothers

Mothers

 Happy Mothers Day

This is the day we celebrate hardest job on earth, being a mother.

As mothers, our goal is to give our children a perfect life.  The problem is that there is no such thing as a perfect life.   Does this mean that we all fail as mothers?  I used to beat myself up over things that I wished I had done different, and mistakes I made.  I finally realized that I wasn't perfect.  I did the best I could with what I had and when I knew better, I did  better.  I forgave myself for not being a perfect mother because there is no such person.

I did my job as a mother.  My children know that they are and will always be loved unconditionally. 


Job done.




 











Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Social Anxiety

Social Anxiety


I am not a snob.  I am not rude.  I have social anxiety.

People with social anxiety are often dismissed by others as being "stuck up".  They often loose friends because they bail on social outings at the last minute.  It is not because we don't want to go.  We try very hard to get the courage up to go, usually up to the last minute.  When my kids were younger, I remember other mothers would say I was a bad parent because I didn't make it to every activity. It was an extremely stressful time.

 As I got older, it was just easier to limit friendships.  I also stopped accepting most invitations, because then I didn't stress out over trying not to disappoint anyone.  My social circle got smaller, and so did my world.  I had a friend tell me one time that if I stopped socializing I would disappear.  She was right, I did.  What I should have done was tell my friends why I was the way I was.  I had social anxiety.  I guess i thought it was better to be thought of as a rude, snobby person, then to admit I had a problem that I had no control over. 

I am changing that crazy way of thinking because I want to rejoin life.  The more I give in to my anxiety, the harder it becomes to get over it.

Life begins outside our comfort zone.  For someone with social anxiety, that sucks.  It is also the only way to overcome it.  Take it one breath at a time.  Start small but keep going.  The first step is to tell your friends.  This is what I am going to do.

If you don't have social anxiety, but you know someone who fits this description, ask them.  Don't push them away, help them join life.